Stanbodlak is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, cheerful narwhal.

Stanbodlak created a quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Stanbodlak, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Stanbodlak, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Stanbodlak's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Stanbodlak's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no manatees in a building before entering it.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Do not wear zinc on your body.

5. Never feed rice to mice while wearing turquoise scarves.