Pangtomstrag Sugragnarl Lannurtvad is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, effective cow.

Pangtomstrag Sugragnarl Lannurtvad created the Andromeda Galaxy three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pangtomstrag Sugragnarl Lannurtvad, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Pangtomstrag Sugragnarl Lannurtvad, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Pangtomstrag Sugragnarl Lannurtvad's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Pangtomstrag Sugragnarl Lannurtvad's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from red snakes, for they are unholy.

2. Pangtomstrag Sugragnarl Lannurtvad loves sheep, so they must be respected.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Never talk about cell theory.

5. You must never eat bread.