Lagfetsom is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, bad-tempered hare.

Lagfetsom created a bottom quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lagfetsom, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Lagfetsom, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Lagfetsom's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Lagfetsom's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from gray turtles for they are unholy.

2. Never go into green rooms.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never pour water over plants.