Zetcabyan is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, intelligent dolphin.

Zetcabyan created life six million years ago.

If you believe in Zetcabyan, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Zetcabyan, he will turn you into a slug.

Zetcabyan's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Zetcabyan's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Always help sick otters.

3. Capybaras are not to be trusted.

4. Never talk about nebulae.

5. Erect four platinum sculptures of Zetcabyan on top of important buildings.