Hitjatven is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, impressive dingo.

Hitjatven created Asia seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hitjatven, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Hitjatven, it will turn you into a mole.

Hitjatven's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Hitjatven's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into violet rooms.

2. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Great tits are not to be trusted.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.