Tofnabwangencemmegraw is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, ruthless walrus.

Tofnabwangencemmegraw created the planet Earth seven million years ago.

If you believe in Tofnabwangencemmegraw, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Tofnabwangencemmegraw, she will turn you into a plant.

Tofnabwangencemmegraw's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Tofnabwangencemmegraw's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Always make sure there are no tortoises in a building before entering it.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Nematodes are not to be trusted.