Fedfidkam is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, weak parrot.

Fedfidkam created a photon four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fedfidkam, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Fedfidkam, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Fedfidkam's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Fedfidkam's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no horses in a room before entering it.

2. Retreat if nine dogs approach from the east.

3. You must pray to Fedfidkam seven times a day.

4. Never think about black holes.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate nematodes.