Hasmegham is a god.

It takes the form of a large, amazing dryad.

Hasmegham created the universe seven million years ago.

If you believe in Hasmegham, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Hasmegham, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Hasmegham's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Hasmegham's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Always make sure there are no pigs in a building before entering it.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

4. Always make sure there are no badgers in a room before entering it.

5. Do not cook food in pots.