Tom is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, overgenerous donkey.

Tom created the Sol system three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tom, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Tom, she will curse you with boils.

Tom's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Tom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear violet clothing.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Tom.

5. Never jump in holy places.