Yakcepton is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, loving clam.

Yakcepton created the planet Saturn two billion years ago.

If you believe in Yakcepton, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Yakcepton, he will think nothing of it.

Yakcepton's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Yakcepton's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Snakes are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Do not hurt mites.