Lagfonbess is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, blissful wasp.

Lagfonbess created vertebrates eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lagfonbess, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Lagfonbess, she will jump up and down on your head.

Lagfonbess' most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Lagfonbess' Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Do not jump in public.

4. Always make sure there are no goats in a building before entering it.

5. Do not dye your hair cyan.