Vagripkim is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, grumpy narwhal.

Vagripkim created the planet Venus eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vagripkim, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Vagripkim, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Vagripkim's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Vagripkim's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about nebulae.

2. Always help foxes.

3. Run away from fawn pigs, for they are unholy.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Ants are unholy and should not be approached.