Tarcidpod is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, self-confident cow.

Tarcidpod created everything that exists eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarcidpod, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Tarcidpod, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Tarcidpod's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Tarcidpod's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from magenta pigs, for they are unholy.

2. Do not eat limes.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Never talk about gravity.