Zanfedkop is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, astonishing unicorn.

Zanfedkop created the solar system seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Zanfedkop, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Zanfedkop, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Zanfedkop's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Zanfedkop's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Zanfedkop.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Never paint your back magenta.

5. Never talk about gulls.