Tapbuglin is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, smart turtle.

Tapbuglin created the Virgo Supercluster eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tapbuglin, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Tapbuglin, it will throw large rocks at you.

Tapbuglin's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Tapbuglin's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate porpoises.

2. Never go into brown rooms.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Tapbuglin must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.