Gomwottif is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, impressive hummingbird.

Gomwottif created vertebrates nine million years ago.

If you believe in Gomwottif, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Gomwottif, she will torture you forever.

Gomwottif's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Gomwottif's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Put Gomwottif first in all things.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always help manatees.

5. Do not kill moths.