Besskinbarn is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, intelligent mongoose.

Besskinbarn created the Milkyway five million years ago.

If you believe in Besskinbarn, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Besskinbarn, he will torture you forever.

Besskinbarn's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Besskinbarn's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from green frogs, for they are unholy.

2. Never mention hamsters.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate bats.

4. Do not wear yellow clothing.

5. Retreat if seven seals approach from the south.