Dodmippan is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, merciless wren.

Dodmippan created time and space seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dodmippan, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Dodmippan, he will boil you in a big pot.

Dodmippan's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Dodmippan's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if nine bats approach from the north.

2. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

3. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

5. Do not make images of living things.