Ratyattcuss is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, loving camel.

Ratyattcuss created the Small Magellanic Cloud eight million years ago.

If you believe in Ratyattcuss, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Ratyattcuss, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Ratyattcuss' most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Ratyattcuss' Holy Commandments

1. Never wear shirts.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Do not wear cyan clothing.

4. Hide from orange tortoises for they are unholy.

5. Do not listen to music.