Gubbettit is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, self-assured penguin.

Gubbettit created Europe nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gubbettit, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gubbettit, it will turn you into a dog.

Gubbettit's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Gubbettit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.