Titfitkab is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, selfish dove.

Titfitkab created silver eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Titfitkab, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Titfitkab, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Titfitkab's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Titfitkab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Titfitkab loves frogs, so they must be respected.

5. Do not drink water in purple rooms.