Damcebnill is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, charitable porpoise.

Damcebnill created vertebrates seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Damcebnill, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Damcebnill, it will laugh at you.

Damcebnill's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Damcebnill's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never hurt foxes.

4. Always make sure there are no eagles in a room before entering it.

5. Do not dye your hair red.