Flanafzod Hambesszog is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, annoying dolphin.

Flanafzod Hambesszog created the planet Earth two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flanafzod Hambesszog, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Flanafzod Hambesszog, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Flanafzod Hambesszog's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Flanafzod Hambesszog's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if three manatees approach from the south.

2. Never wear scarves.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. You must pray to Flanafzod Hambesszog five times a day.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.