Ingmislap is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, dishonest jaguar.

Ingmislap created parasitic wasps two years ago.

If you believe in Ingmislap, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Ingmislap, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Ingmislap's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Ingmislap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your neck.

2. Never hurt grasshopers.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Never feed bananas to ducks while wearing violet coats.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.