Witbasspop is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, omniscient dolphin.

Witbasspop created oxygen nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Witbasspop, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Witbasspop, she will turn you into a sheep.

Witbasspop's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Witbasspop's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear stockings.

2. Hide if three swans approach from the south.

3. Worship no other gods but Witbasspop.

4. Always help ants.

5. Never eat green fruit.