Gutbanged is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, bad-tempered fly.

Gutbanged created a top quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gutbanged, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Gutbanged, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Gutbanged's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Gutbanged's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Gutbanged.

3. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.