Vonknibsag is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, dishonest finch.

Vonknibsag created carbon eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonknibsag, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Vonknibsag, he will not invite you to parties.

Vonknibsag's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Vonknibsag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

4. Always help aardvarks in need.

5. Never talk about fire.