Bappanteen is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, ill-tempered fly.

Bappanteen created the Milkyway two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bappanteen, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Bappanteen, he will try to impress you with trees.

Bappanteen's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Bappanteen's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick squirrels.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Hide if eight tortoises approach from the north.

4. Hide from violet ducks for they are unholy.

5. Retreat if seven monkeys approach from the south.