Gamvadbam is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, humane unicorn.

Gamvadbam created a strange quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Gamvadbam, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Gamvadbam, she will turn you into a hamster.

Gamvadbam's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Gamvadbam's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat porpoises with great respect.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Run away if five grasshopers approach from the south.

5. Always take life seriously.