Habquafmadtettiwikhan Cipingmap is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, loving duck.

Habquafmadtettiwikhan Cipingmap created an up quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Habquafmadtettiwikhan Cipingmap, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Habquafmadtettiwikhan Cipingmap, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Habquafmadtettiwikhan Cipingmap's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Habquafmadtettiwikhan Cipingmap's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Habquafmadtettiwikhan Cipingmap must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Do not laugh in public.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.