Monbarndam is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, kind goose.

Monbarndam created the Sombrero Galaxy three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Monbarndam, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Monbarndam, he will refuse to believe in you.

Monbarndam's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Monbarndam's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Monbarndam on top of all buildings.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Put Monbarndam first in all things.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always pray immersed in water.