Cip is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, slow crane.

Cip created viruses three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cip, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Cip, she will be very sad.

Cip's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Cip's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Never talk about gravity.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Cip.

5. Never hurt whales.