Jappaggep is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, unthinking raven.

Jappaggep created Europe seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jappaggep, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Jappaggep, she will curse you with boils.

Jappaggep's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Jappaggep's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from turquoise whales for they are unholy.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Do not hurt geese.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Jappaggep must be the most important thing in your life.