Jarnpoplarp Gidvolbif is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, proud cat.

Jarnpoplarp Gidvolbif created the world six billion years ago.

If you believe in Jarnpoplarp Gidvolbif, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Jarnpoplarp Gidvolbif, it will throw large rocks at you.

Jarnpoplarp Gidvolbif's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Jarnpoplarp Gidvolbif's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Jarnpoplarp Gidvolbif.

2. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never write about cell theory.