Yattamrip is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, impressive bird.

Yattamrip created matter nine million years ago.

If you believe in Yattamrip, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Yattamrip, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Yattamrip's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Yattamrip's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from mauve grasshopers, for they are unholy.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate rats.

3. You must pray to Yattamrip nine times a day.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.