Ortjapbot is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, loving cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Ortjapbot created carbon five billion years ago.

If you believe in Ortjapbot, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Ortjapbot, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Ortjapbot's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Ortjapbot's Holy Commandments

1. Porpoises are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never hurt snails.

3. Rats are not to be trusted.

4. You must love Ortjapbot.

5. Always pray immersed in water.