Wadtiksan is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, clever clam.

Wadtiksan created carbon nine million years ago.

If you believe in Wadtiksan, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Wadtiksan, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Wadtiksan's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Wadtiksan's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat tomatoes.

2. Do not wear magenta clothing.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

4. Never think about gravity.

5. Respect your elders.