Titbarntaf is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, awe-inspiring goat.

Titbarntaf created a down quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Titbarntaf, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Titbarntaf, he will turn you into a goat.

Titbarntaf's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Titbarntaf's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat lentils.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never laugh in the presence of aardvarks.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate doves.