Rullzakyakvon is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, fast squid.

Rullzakyakvon created the planet Venus seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rullzakyakvon, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Rullzakyakvon, he will be very unhappy.

Rullzakyakvon's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Rullzakyakvon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Rullzakyakvon.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Always help cats.

5. Never wear blue skirts.