Nilltonkhin is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, ruthless lion.

Nilltonkhin created carbon five billion years ago.

If you believe in Nilltonkhin, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Nilltonkhin, it will throw large rocks at you.

Nilltonkhin's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Nilltonkhin's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never sit near hamsters.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Nilltonkhin.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Run away from magenta otters, for they are unholy.