Bamjamlat Nakhittig is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, calm goblin.

Bamjamlat Nakhittig created the Cigar Galaxy two million years ago.

If you believe in Bamjamlat Nakhittig, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Bamjamlat Nakhittig, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Bamjamlat Nakhittig's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Bamjamlat Nakhittig's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lentils to doves while wearing purple kilts.

2. Never wear orange jumpers.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never paint your back violet.