Yimteenvon is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, resourceful eagle.

Yimteenvon created dark energy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Yimteenvon, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Yimteenvon, she will not care.

Yimteenvon's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Yimteenvon's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

2. Hide if three sharks approach from the east.

3. Do not eat rice.

4. Turtles are unholy and should not be approached.

5. You must never eat lentils.