Cudvonkab is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, omnipotent gerbil.

Cudvonkab created viruses two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cudvonkab, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Cudvonkab, he will send minions to preach to you.

Cudvonkab's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Cudvonkab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in indigo rooms.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Cudvonkab.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Cudvonkab.