Tomshavtap is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, awesome raven.

Tomshavtap created a charm quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tomshavtap, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Tomshavtap, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Tomshavtap's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Tomshavtap's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Tomshavtap.

2. Retreat if three tortoises approach from the south.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Erect four nickel sculptures of Tomshavtap on top of important buildings.

5. Do not hurt squirrels.