Lapbissmut is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, stupid skunk.

Lapbissmut created silver four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lapbissmut, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Lapbissmut, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Lapbissmut's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Lapbissmut's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about galaxies.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Always obey Lapbissmut's priests.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Pray towards the east.