Lakhabcub is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, narcissistic gorilla.

Lakhabcub created a charm quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Lakhabcub, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Lakhabcub, she will turn you into a snail.

Lakhabcub's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Lakhabcub's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gravity.

2. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Run away from violet rats, for they are unholy.

5. Always make sure there are no bats in a room before entering it.