Sakafbaf Lapbutnig Arfstragpon is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, ill-tempered weasel.

Sakafbaf Lapbutnig Arfstragpon created the planet Saturn three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sakafbaf Lapbutnig Arfstragpon, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Sakafbaf Lapbutnig Arfstragpon, she will turn you into a slug.

Sakafbaf Lapbutnig Arfstragpon's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Sakafbaf Lapbutnig Arfstragpon's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about stars.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Sakafbaf Lapbutnig Arfstragpon.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Run away from mauve great tits, for they are unholy.

5. Never eat peanuts.