Jabomtdab Lagbabquart is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, unjust bird.

Jabomtdab Lagbabquart created a photon five billion years ago.

If you believe in Jabomtdab Lagbabquart, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Jabomtdab Lagbabquart, he will strike you with lightening.

Jabomtdab Lagbabquart's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Jabomtdab Lagbabquart's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Pigs are not to be trusted.

3. Do not trade with those who eat cherries.

4. Always wear white.

5. Run away if six grasshopers approach from the east.