Flab is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, amazing mole.

Flab created vertebrates four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flab, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Flab, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Flab's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Flab's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about cell theory.

2. Never sit near birds.

3. Flab must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never wear kilts.

5. Never talk about ducks.