Kinquamkar is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, humane monkey.

Kinquamkar created the Sun eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kinquamkar, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Kinquamkar, she will send minions to preach to you.

Kinquamkar's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Kinquamkar's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed limes to rats while wearing blue hats.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Retreat if five frogs approach from the west.

4. Always help sick monkeys.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.